Ephesians 5:21-6:9 Principles and Application

This is the final page in this series on Eph 5:21-6:9. It contains the principles which lie behind the passage, which leads into the modern application. It is important to read the first three pages before this one, as they provide the base for the conclusions reached here: Part One: The Context, Part Two: The Content and Part Three: Definitions.

Principles of the Passage

Assuming that verse 21 acts as the introduction to this passage, it then may be taken as proposing the theme of which the following instructions are explanations or examples. In that case, every instruction may be understood as an application of the general theme of submission. The several instructions to wives and husbands, children and fathers, and slaves and masters may then all be seen as specific examples of submission. The principle of submission is then of utmost importance, and should be seen on three levels.

Firstly, all Christians are to submit to Christ. He is the Lord of all who redeemed the church, sanctified and cleansed her, and therefore deserves the highest honour in each Christian’s heart and his instructions in the Bible should be followed as carefully and thoroughly as is humanly possible.

Secondly, all Christians are to submit to each other. A unifying spirit of humility should pervade every Christian fellowship, where no one exalts themselves above their brethren, regardless of their experience, ministry or particular role in the church.

Thirdly, each Christian should submit to the particular role that he or she finds him or herself in. This role may be the one chosen by God due to their sex or age, it may be a circumstance they have voluntarily entered (such as marriage or employment), or it may even be a role in effect controlled by other people. Each role carries with it certain responsibilities and duties, according to the plan of God, and these duties should be fulfilled in joyful submission to Christ. The particular responsibilities of each role should be carefully researched in the Bible, as they are not always in conformity to those proposed by contemporary secular society.

The particular instructions in this passage, addressed to marriage partners, family members and masters and slaves may then be seen as six selected applications of the overriding tri-layered principle of submission. This implies firstly that the principles contained in this section are not limited to the particular groups addressed. Christians who are in a relationship that does not strictly conform to those addressed by Paul (for example, teachers and students, or those in military service) should nonetheless apply the same principles. Secondly, the specific instructions given to each group should be understood in light of the general principle of submission. That is, no addressee should assume that, for example, he or she is not required to submit to the other member in his or her relationship merely because he or she is not specifically instructed to do so. All three general principles apply to all members of all Christian relationships.

Paul then addresses three human relationships, giving general principles to govern the relationship itself, as well as further principles specific to the particular role in the relationship. The first relationship is marriage.

All partners in a marriage relationship should come to an understanding of the nature of the relationship itself. First, marriage is a holy institution, designed by God to typify Christ’s relationship with the church. Certain attributes inherent in Christ’s relationship with the church should be reflected in marriage, that is, elective love to the exclusion of all others, and inseparable unity. Second, this inseparable unity is akin to the merging of mind, body, intellect and will. Two individual people, separate identities, come together at marriage in such a way that they can never again think of themselves as acting alone.

The first partner in the marriage to be addressed specifically is the wife. Her role in the marital union is first to be understood in light of the three general principles of submission listed above, and also in light of the nature of marriage. Then, she is to examine closely her own submission to the role of wife. Primarily, this is her acknowledgement of the glory of God in creating such an institution, and her recognition of His design in the particular roles of husband and wife. Thus her submission is first to God, from which grows her submission to her role as a wife, from which in turn grows her submission to her husband. This last submission entails a voluntary yielding of her own interests and goals in favour of those of her husband. It is not synonymous with servile obedience, but rather is an acceptance of her husband’s plans as her own, from which springs willing effort as the two labour as one.

The husband is then addressed in depth. He should closely examine his own submission to Christ, his humility as displayed by his submission to the Christian community, and finally he should come to an understanding of marriage itself and submit himself wholeheartedly to God’s design for husbands. The husband’s primary role is to reflect Christ’s love for the church in his own love for his wife. This love is self-sacrificial, never balking at hardship in order to provide not only materially for his wife but also spiritually, that in all areas she may be growing and maturing. His wife may have aligned herself with his plans, but the means by which he executes those plans will be self-sacrificial, loving means, designed to assist and support his wife. He is not authorised to dominate but to love, not to enforce obedience but to give himself up that his wife may be nourished.

Marriage is then seen as a divinely planned union, in which success is only reached through yieldedness to the divinely ordained roles, through which each partner reflects his or her yieldedness to God Himself. This has been, as Paul notes, God’s intention from the very beginning.

The parent-child relationship is then addressed. As before, the overriding motives behind all actions must be submission to God, submission to each other, and submission to the particular role one has, whether of child or parent. Children are addressed first.

Children are to show their submission to God primarily through their obedience to their parents. By so doing, they are fulfilling the plan God has for children, and availing themselves of the inbuilt mechanisms for growth into maturity.

Parents − fathers and mothers alike − are to perceive their God-given role as one of imparting the Lord’s instruction and training. They are to deliver the Lord’s reproofs as well as His promises of blessing. They are to assist their children in their growth by providing all that is necessary to learn of the Lord. Paul notes that harsh discipline may be counter-productive, and therefore, fathers in particular are warned to be wary of this common child-rearing tactic.

Finally, Paul addresses masters and slaves, and in so doing he presents principles that may be applied by anyone in a position in or under authority. Those who are under someone else’s authority (‘slaves’) must remember that, as before, their primary allegiance is to God. They are also to submit to others in the Christian community, and to their specific God-ordained role as a ‘slave’ whether or not their ‘master’ is a Christian. As it is God who is their ultimate Master, ‘slaves’ are to serve Him in all they do. This means that they are, in effect, not disobeying Jesus’ command to not serve two masters (Matt 6:24). When their earthly ‘master’ issues instructions, ‘slaves’ are to act in submission to their heavenly Master, who is always present. This is why the presence or absence of the earthly ‘master’ is irrelevant. A ‘slave’ (anyone who is in a position where someone else has authority over him or her) does all in obedience to God. This does not imply that earthly ‘masters’ (those in a position of authority) are somehow anointed by God in all the instructions they issue, but that the Master of the Christian is always God. God, therefore is the One to whom the ‘slave’ looks for blessings and rewards. God, likewise, is the One who always sees, from whom no one can hide.

‘Masters’ are likewise instructed to act in submission to God, other Christians, and to their particular role. This role, as one in authority, is primarily fulfilled through the recognition that they themselves are under the authority of God. There are no differences of position or caste in His sight, and therefore, their earthly role is merely a temporary functional one, and is not due in some way to their personal merit in God’s sight. The ‘master’ is to treat his or her ‘slaves’ in full knowledge that they are equal in the sight of God. The matter of relevance, then, is that all concerned submit to God. Masters are, however, warned that verbal or physical abuse is not acceptable in God’s sight, as it is contrary to their role as people who are essentially equal with the slaves, but who have a temporary role as an earthly manager.

In conclusion, one may see that Paul’s concern in this passage was not the subjugation of women, or the absolute obedience of children and slaves, but the submission of every Christian to the plan of God. The way this submission is manifested varies according to the particular role one plays in each relationship with someone else. Whenever one has contact with another person, the type of relationship determines the particular roles that each plays, and although the dynamics vary, the underlying truth is that all must submit to God’s design, or he or she will in some way fall short. Failure to submit to God’s roles results in hurt and sin. Therefore, the message of this section of Ephesians is that the guiding theme that should govern all relationships is that of submission to the plan of God.

Application

This passage has highly relevant application for all members of the Christian community. In fact, the first point that should be made is in the intended audience, that is, to whom this passage is addressed today. While there are certain specific roles mentioned (wives, husbands, and so on), it is true that there are very few people who do not fit into at least one category, and many people may see themselves as being addressed repeatedly. For example while at home, someone may fill the roles of husband and father, and while at work he may alternately fill both categories described in the ‘master-slave’ section. In addition, Paul points out in his introductory verse (Eph 5:21) that the general application is for all members of the Christian community. Regardless of the personal feelings we may have towards the issues of domestic domination, corporal punishment and slavery, there are inescapable directives in this passage for all believers.

The universal application of Christian submission will be seen in each person’s relations with other members of his or her church or Christian community. The acknowledgement that all believers are equal under the lordship of Christ immediately removes all differences within the church caused by wealth, background, status, popularity or position. The longest serving pastor is on the same footing as the newest believer. The most faithful and fruitful evangelist is as the prison inmate. All are equal before God, and all are commanded to be subject to each other. This subjection cannot entail domination or the kind of Christian ‘castes’ that exist within some churches, where some are ‘congregation’ and others are ‘elders’, for Christian submission is mutual. It may be noted that Paul is discussing personal submission, as it relates to the way that Christians communicate and deal with each other. It does not discuss submission to a church program. Thus, while two church members may feel very strongly about a proposed program, their submission will prevent them from taking a personal approach. They each will recognise that the other person is likewise a child of God, and that the long term goal is not the advancement of the particular program, nor even the expansion of the local church. The goal is for all to live as Christ’s disciples, walking in the spirit, as the previous passage enjoined. When Christ is truly Master of each believer in each church, differences of opinion become petty and manageable.

However, Paul does not content himself with speaking generally. He singles out six specific target groups, and in any congregation most if not all members will fit into one or more of these target groups. The first target audience is married women.

Wives should be first clear as to what this passage does not enjoin. It does not condone male chauvinism, nor female servility. It does not exhort women to attain to a kind of ‘puppy-dog obedience’ where the husband’s every wish is law. It certainly does not suggest that women submit to abuse or sin instigated by their husbands. In other words, ‘be subject’ is not synonymous with ‘obey absolutely’. However, neither does it permit a kind of independence, where the wife is free to choose her own path regardless of her husband’s wishes. Paul explains that although both marital partners are equal in the sight of God, the roles they fulfil are not equal, and a close examination of these roles is in order.

The role of the wife is to submit. This entails a yielding of her own interests and goals in favour of her husband’s. Upon marriage, the wife is enjoined to put her energy and talents into that which will strengthen the marital bond. She is no longer free to envision and execute her own plans independently of her husband. In fact, and this is the precise point at which many women baulk, Paul says that the responsibility for the plan rests with the husband, not the wife. The wife then is to adopt that plan as her own, using her God-given abilities to benefit and support her husband’s vision. This vision may be long term, for example in the purchase of a house, or it may be a means to such an end, for example with day to day budgeting in order to meet the monthly mortgage repayments. Now, although the responsibility of the plan rests with the husband, Paul does not say he should devise the plan alone. In fact, his wife will probably have much to say on the subject! However, he alone is responsible for the direction of the family, and his wife is responsible to work with him on what he has determined is best. Importantly, her motivation is not her admiration for the wisdom or skills of her husband, but rather for the wisdom and power of almighty God who designed and created the institution of marriage. Thus, it is immaterial whether her husband is as talented or skilled as other husbands, or even as herself. It is immaterial whether he is as ‘loving’ as he is commanded to be in the next section. It is even immaterial whether he is a Christian. She is to submit ‘in everything’ (Eph 5:24). Now, her own plans and dreams need not be abandoned, but consultation and agreement with her husband is essential, who has the task of deciding if or how her dreams may be accommodated into the plan. Whenever she feels frustrated at this arrangement, she should remind herself, not of her husband’s attributes, but of God’s. The only reason she accepts this submission as a wife, is because ultimately her submission is to God.

Husbands are addressed next, and it is important to make clear from the beginning that they are not enjoined to enforce submission from their wife. Nowhere does Paul authorise husbands to make their wives obey. Thus, a husband who overrides his wife’s suggestions on the grounds that she is to submit has little understanding of his own role. Furthermore, his own role is not dependent on his wife’s submission. She may be stubborn or independent, but his own duties are unchanged. He is commanded to love his wife. This love goes far deeper than emotional feelings or the mere provision of food and clothing. He is to realise that all he does affects his wife. His every action has an impact on his wife because marriage has united them. Therefore, he will not commit adultery because he knows his wife is one with him, and his sin would harm them both. When planning his future he chooses that which will be of greatest benefit for both of them. When executing his plan, he does not choose methods that exclude his wife’s needs. The glory of God that is invested in him lies in taking responsibility for two lives, instead of one and for devising means whereby both lives are enriched and supported and strengthened. Far from demanding servile obedience from his wife, he is to give himself for her, as Christ did for us. When he reads that Christ took on the form of a servant, even stooping so low as to wash his disciples’ feet, he gives his strength and abilities and skills to help her in her tasks, nourish her in her spiritual understanding, and provide opportunities for her to grow and mature as a person. His own desires become secondary to the joy of imitating Christ’s service, thus fulfilling his role as a husband. In no way is he to neglect his role as head, overseeing the direction and goals of his family, but the way he puts his plan into action will be in the most loving, self-sacrificing manner he can imagine.

An inevitable corollary to the essential unity of marriage lies in its permanence. Marriage is intended by God to be for life, and so, divorce should never be an option. Understanding a marriage to be an inseparable merging of two people into one, with the husband as the head, and the wife as the body, leads to the conclusion that divorce is comparable to bloody decapitation, with the only possible result being death. Divorce, then, results in death in some form, whether death of one’s submission to God or death of the blessings available to those who submit. Marriage is permanent, and divorce is unacceptable.

Prospective marital partners, therefore, should study well the biblical principles of marriage before entering into a commitment from which they are not at liberty to disengage. A prospective wife should look carefully at her fiancé and decide whether she is willing to take on his goals as her own, and to allow him to choose the direction for her own life. A prospective husband should decide if he is willing to take the responsibility before God to ensure that his fiancée will be spiritually nourished and cared for. He must realise that the responsibility is his to devise the direction for the newly created family unit, and that his part in bringing it to pass can only be properly fulfilled through constant self-sacrifice. He may no longer live for himself and his own interests may need to be put aside in favour of that which will benefit his family generally, and his wife in particular. Both partners should enter marriage with the understanding that a divine bond will be created between them, which cannot be broken without extreme suffering. Marriage is permanent and divorce will not be an option.

Paul now addresses the issue of child-rearing. He does not presume to give techniques for securing the obedience he enjoins; he himself was not a parent. However the rule is given, and obedience is required. However, this obedience is not necessarily military-style instant obedience, and does not preclude dissension, the raising of objections, discussion or negotiation. However, the child should understand the divinely appointed authority that is placed in his or her parents, and should realise that part of his education includes the knowledge that parents are called by God to take care of, provide for, train and discipline himself. Children are called by God to be the recipients of those actions. Therefore, while dissension on the part of a child is by no means contrary to Paul’s decree, all disagreements should take place within the general framework of the specific roles each are called to fulfil. Parents are obligated to have the child’s best interests at heart, and children are obliged to learn, trust, and even obey. Obedience is no longer a popular child-rearing technique, and yet the Bible enjoins it. Children who object to their parents’ rule should learn that everyone plays a particular role in life. Most people are answerable to someone else, and also have someone who answers to them. Different codes of behaviour cover each relationship. The child’s role is that which will bring forth the best in his life. His parents are not dictators, even if they refuse to accommodate his every wish! Neither are they co-workers on an equal footing with him. His place is to learn and obey because then he is yielding to the role he is called to fulfil. With time, he will inevitably grow into another role.

Fathers are specifically targeted next, with the admonition that they are not to cause their children to be angry. In other words, they should not abuse their parental privilege through resorting to verbal harassment, or by constantly pulling rank on them. If the only reason ever given is ‘because I said so’, or ‘because I’m tired’, then children will learn a distorted message of how to make decisions. Frustration and confusion will result. Fathers, however, are given the directive to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Fathers are given the responsibility for their children’s spiritual training; it is up to the fathers to ensure that their children are learning of the Lord. It is not enough for a father to bring his child to church or Sunday school and assume he has fulfilled his duty. A father has the priceless privilege of explaining to his children what he himself has learned of the Lord. He cannot abdicate this responsibility regardless of what other commitments he has. A regular devotional time together led by the father, addressing the topics he sees his children need might be necessary. He should teach them what the Bible says about being born again and how the Ten Commandments apply in these modern times. As they grow into teenagers, he should thoroughly instil in them the biblical truths on sexual matters. He should prepare them for life with God’s word. Then, and only then, will he be submitting to the role God has for Him as a father.

Finally, Paul addresses slaves and masters. Although slavery no longer exists the principles may be applied to any situation where one person has authority over another. The most common example would be that of employment, where most people are answerable to someone, or responsible for employees. Exceptions might include the unemployed or the self-employed.

Employees might apply this passage through diligent labour, regardless of oversight. They do this, not by identifying their employer with the Lord (which may prove a difficult stretch of the imagination!) but by giving their service to the Lord. Their Employer is God, and He alone is the one they serve with their hearts. They do not serve two masters, they serve God alone. The human employer may then be seen as another employee of the same Director, and they obey him as part of their service for God. This principle applies regardless of the employer’s character. In other words, there is no requirement that the employer be just, generous, or even a Christian. Workers work because the ultimate Employer is God, not because of the strengths or weaknesses of their immediate overseer. Christians in military service or who are inmates in prison are perhaps closer to the conditions of first century Greco-Roman slavery than anyone else in modern western society, and are therefore especially obligated to apply these principles, notwithstanding the fact that these are probably the situations in which willing submission is the most difficult.

Employers (or military officers, or prison guards) are to treat those over whom they have authority with the utmost care, in the full knowledge that they are no different in the sight of God. God does not think the employer any better than the employee. He does not grant officers their position due to their superior worth. He does not consider inmates as greater sinners than guards, for “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:23 NASB). Knowing that they themselves are but employees in the service of God, employers treat their workers with the utmost justice, not because they necessarily deserve such treatment, but because in so doing they are submitting to the plan of God inherent in authority.

Therefore, it may be seen that almost all Christians will find relevance in some portion of this passage, and most will find that more than one section applies to them. In all instructions, the overriding principle is one of submission to the role that God wants each person to play, to conform to his will, and to be in harmony with the divine plan. This submission is manifested in different ways, according to the particular function each person plays in the relationship of which he or she is a member. However, all are servants of God, and so all look to Him as the ultimate master, according to whose plan all should conform.

Finally

The passage on the submission of wives will never be popular among feminists. However, it must be stated that Christian submission as severally practiced by both husbands and wives can do more to free women from the tyranny of abuse than can an independent lifestyle. True freedom cannot come from self-centred pursuit of one’s own goals; this is contrary to Jesus’ words where He said that it was the truth that is liberating (John 8:32). Freedom comes from obedience to God’s word, and this remains equally true for male and female, and remains equally difficult to put into practice.

A wife’s submission to her husband cannot be said to imply that she should comply with some sin of her husband’s devising. She is required to submit to God’s plan to fulfil her role as a wife, not to commit sin, or to aid her husband to sin.

The verse commanding children to obey their parents cannot be said to have the same force when applied to children who are already adults. The passage in Ephesians is comprised of three complementary couplets, the husband and wife, the child and parent, and the master and slave. The child and parent couplet obviously refers to dependant children, as the father is given the task of training and disciplining them. Therefore, when the child grows to maturity, he or she should retain the same submission as is required of all members of the Christian community to each other, but he or she does not need to yield to a role that no longer applies.

Although the New Testament has many passages giving counsel to slaves and their masters, it does not specifically condemn slavery as such. However, “the gospel in its spirit and genius is hostile to slavery in every form, which under its influence is gradually disappearing from among men” (Easton). Also, “Christianity does not begin by opposing the external system prevailing, but plants the seeds of love, universal brotherhood in Christ, communion of all in one redemption from God our common Father, which silently and surely undermines slavery” (Fausset). Christ was a “reformer, but not an anarchist. His gospel was dynamic but not dynamitic” (ISBE). Paul does not condone the institution of slavery, directly or by implication; to the contrary, his instructions appear specifically designed to bring true equality to all men, not by initiating a violent revolution, but by broadcasting the truth which inevitably leads to freedom.

References

Easton: ‘Slave’, Easton’s Bible Dictionary, MG Easton, 2003, Biblesoft, Seattle, WA.

Fausset: ‘Slave’, Fausset’s Bible Dictionary, AR Fausset, 2003, Biblesoft, Seattle, WA.

ISBE: ‘Slave’, International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia, WE Raffety, 2003, Biblesoft, Seattle, WA.

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