Makestraightpaths.com examines the teachings of the religious group variously
known as “the Family,” “The Family International,” the “Children of God,” or the
“Family of Love,” and evaluates these teachings from a Christian perspective.
This page is one in a series on the law of love.
Jesus on Adultery
The founder of the Family (Berg/Dad) taught his followers
that 'adultery' no longer exists as a sin for Christians. Unfortunately,
many Family members are unaware that Jesus
talked about sex and adultery, but he never condoned extra-marital
sex, nor said that the commandment against adultery was no longer in
effect.
This web page briefly examines
the Bible passages where Jesus specifically talked about the sin of adultery.
The Sermon on the Mount
Matt
5:27-28
27 "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; 28
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
NASU
The Sermon on the Mount
is one of the most well-known passages in the entire Bible. Many of its
expressions are commonly used in everyday speech, often without people
being aware of their biblical origins. Most people do not have trouble
understanding the Sermon on the Mount, for most of it is relatively
straightforward, even for unbelievers, who may admire the general
principles laid down therein, including love, non-retaliation,
peace-making, kindness, and the Golden Rule. However, many
people do find this passage extremely difficult because they do not
think they can live up to the standard that Jesus set.
For example, people may
accept that 'turning the other cheek' (Matt 5:39) would be a noble and effectual
means to ending a cycle of violence, while thinking, "But I could never
do that!" Similarly, many people would admire Jesus' generosity and
helpfulness when they read he said to 'go the extra mile' (Matt 5:41) or
to refrain from anger (Matt 5:22), but would doubt their own ability
to comply with his instructions.
Regarding Jesus'
condemnation of lust, the founder of the Family (Berg/Dad) taught that
not only was it impossible to comply with this instruction, actually
Jesus knew that no one was able to refrain from lust and therefore was
highlighting the impossibility of keeping the Mosaic Law. Berg/Dad's conclusion
was that Jesus' point here was not that lust was wrong but that
the law against adultery was impossible and therefore redundant,
being replaced by Jesus' law of love.
Unfortunately, in order
to reach this interpretation, Berg/Dad severely manipulated Jesus' words
in order to reach a conclusion that supported his own predetermined
position. In other words, it appears that Berg/Dad imposed his own
theories on the text of the scriptures.
The pattern in the Sermon on the Mount
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus discussed adultery
and lust as one of a series of short expositions on various Old
Testament laws. For the most part, each topic follows a pattern:
-
Jesus quotes the Old
Testament law
-
He clarifies the law
to show what it really meant when obeyed from the heart
-
He gave an example to
illustrate how to begin obeying.
First, he discusses the
commandment against murder:
-
You have heard that
the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER (Matt 5:21
NASU, quoting from Exodus 20:13 and Deut 5:17).
-
Jesus then said that
this commandment had a far greater application than merely unlawful
killing. Murder is an expression of the sin of anger in the heart.
People who follow God are not only to refrain from unlawfully
killing other people, they are also to repent from the sin of
heart-anger. "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his
brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his
brother, 'You good-for-nothing,' shall be guilty before the supreme
court; and whoever says, 'You fool,' shall be guilty enough to go
into the fiery hell" (Matt 5:22 NASU).
-
Then, Jesus gave a couple
examples to show how one may put his words into practice: he
said to put harmony above ritual observance of the law, he advised against stubborn insistence on trying to get all
you possibly can, and he said to make sure you pay your debts. "Therefore if
you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember
that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your offering
there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother,
and then come and present your offering. 25 "Make friends quickly
with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that
your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to
the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26 "Truly I say to you,
you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last cent"
(Matt 5:23-26 NASU).
Beginning in verse 33,
Jesus addresses false vows:
-
The Law: "Again, you have
heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FALSE VOWS,
BUT SHALL FULFILL YOUR VOWS TO THE LORD.'" (Matt 5:33 NASU, quoting
from Lev 19:12). The NIV says, "
-
The clarification: Jesus then clarified
that the law had so much greater application than the people had
thought. Only God was able to be truly honest, only God could really
carry out his promises. Only God has the power to be able to
engineer circumstances to bring his will to pass. In comparison,
people are powerless and weak. "But I say to you, make no oath at
all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the
earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it
is THE CITY OF THE GREAT KING" 36 "Nor shall you make an oath by
your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black" (Matt
5:34-36 NASU).
-
Then, he explained
that in light of what he had said, the best practice was to refrain
from promises that they could not keep. "But let your statement be,
'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil" (Matt
5:36-37 NASU).
In verse 38, Jesus
discusses retaliation, using the same pattern:
-
The Law: "You have
heard that it was said, 'AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A
TOOTH'" (Matt 5:38 NASU, quoting from Exod 21:24 and other places).
-
The clarification:
"But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps
you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also" (Matt 5:39
NASU).
-
Several practical
illustrations how to be obedient to the heart of the Law: "If anyone wants to
sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. 41
"Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 "Give to him
who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow
from you" (Matt 5:40-42 NASU).
Finally, he talks about
love:
-
The Law: "You have
heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your
enemy.' (Matt 5:43 NASU, quoting from Lev 19:18).
-
The clarification:
"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who
persecute you" (Matt 5:44 NASU).
-
An illustration: "If
you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others?
Do not even the Gentiles do the same?" (Matt 5:47 NASU).
The Law on Adultery
Jesus followed the same
pattern when he discussed adultery:
-
The Law: "You have
heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'" (Matt 5:27
NASU, quoting from Exod 20:14 and Deut 5:18).
-
The clarification:
"but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for
her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt 5:28
NASU).
-
The illustration: "If
your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you;
for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than
for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 "If your right hand
makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is
better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your
whole body to go into hell" (Matt 5:29-30 NASU).
In this short section,
several points are important to note. First, Jesus quoted the law
against adultery. He did not say that it was superseded,
outdated, inapplicable or impossible to keep. In fact, a few verses
earlier, Jesus stressed that he did not come to destroy the law,
but that the Law itself was an expression of righteousness that people
were not to trifle with.
Matt 5:17-19
17 "Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I
did not come to abolish but to fulfill. 18 "For truly I say to you,
until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke
shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 "Whoever then
annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to
do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but
whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the
kingdom of heaven.
NASU
Everyone to whom Jesus
was talking knew the Law, and Jesus stressed the importance, not of
ritual observance of the Law, but of heartfelt obedience to God as the
author of these guidelines for godly living.
Second, Jesus not only
affirmed the prohibition against adultery, he clarified and expanded it
beyond the physical act of sex to include sexual lust: lust and adultery
are the same sin. As mentioned above, Berg/Dad taught that Jesus really
meant that as avoiding lust was impossible, it was not prohibited
and therefore neither was adultery. The problem with Berg/Dad's
interpretation is that the text says nothing of the kind. In order to
arrive at Berg/Dad's conclusion, one must manipulate the text to mean
something completely different from what it actually says. Jesus said
nothing about either lust or adultery being impossible to avoid, he
said nothing about the redundancy of the law, and he certainly said
nothing about lust or adultery being permissible.
Third, with a graphic
metaphor, Jesus illustrated exactly how his listeners were to obey God
in this area. Plucking out an eye or amputating a hand to avoid
temptation vividly illustrated two things: the seriousness of sin and
the earnestness with which God's people should avoid sin. Sin, said
Jesus, is deadly serious. Twice, he stressed that hell (Gehenna)
was to be avoided at all costs. The metaphors of plucking out an eye and
cutting off a hand illustrate how people could avoid adultery or lust:
remove themselves from any situation where they might be tempted. If
there is anything in your life that causes you to lust or tempts you to consider
indulging in any extra-marital sexual activity, then that thing should
be removed from your life. Therefore, sexually focussed magazines,
pictures and movies have no place in a Christian's life.
Specifically
regarding the Family, Jesus' words make it clear that sexually explicit
GNs or artwork are sin and must be removed. Berg/Dad made a
practice of promoting sex and sexually attractive artwork. All
such material is sin. Any word ever published in the Family promoting
sexual activity outside of marriage is sin. Unfortunately much was
written on this topic, and it has caused countless people to 'stumble.'
Jesus' solution is clear, direct and uncompromising: get rid of it all.
Jesus on divorce
Within the same section
of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talked about divorce.
Matt 5:31-32
31 "It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A
CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; 32 but I say to you that everyone who
divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her
commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits
adultery.
NASU
The pattern is similar to
the other topics in this passage:
-
Jesus quotes the Old
Testament, in this case Deuteronomy 24:1-3.
-
He clarifies that
divorce is not something to be taken lightly. In fact, there are
very few reasons when divorce is actually legitimate. Jesus mentions
only one.
-
His solution is
obvious: don't divorce.
Regarding divorce in the
Family, it is both sad and reprehensible that marriage was minimised to
the degree it was by Berg/Dad. Divorces and remarriages were
commonplace, and in many instances couples were 'broken up' by
leadership for various reasons. The harm this has caused to each person,
and especially to the children of those couples has been immeasurable.
This has been a tremendous sin which has never been adequately
addressed. The current leader must take full personal
responsibility for this tremendous sin and make immediate reparations.
Second, Jesus' words make
it clear that 'unchastity' ('marital unfaithfulness' NIV, 'sexual
immorality' NKJV, 'fornication' KJV) is a sin against the God-appointed
institution of marriage. In other words, Jesus said that marriage
partners were to be sexually faithful to each other. Therefore, Family
publications (including the Charter) that promote or permit
extra-marital sex are sin and must be destroyed. Further, every
person in the Family who taught that God allows extra-marital sexual
activity was not speaking the truth of God. This specifically includes
Berg/Dad, Zerby/Maria and all 'prophets' whose 'messages' have
been published in Family GNs.
The principles on
marriage and divorce are repeated four times throughout the Gospels.
They are not an anomaly; God made sure they were written four times:
twice in Matthew (Matt 5:31-32, quoted above, and Matt 19:9, once in
Luke 16:18, and once in Mark 10:11-12).
Internal defilement
The first half of Matthew
chapter fifteen describes a confrontation Jesus had with some scribes
and Pharisees from Jerusalem.
They began by accusing
his disciples of transgressing the elders' traditions by not washing
their hands before they ate (Matt 15:1-2). Jesus rebuked them bluntly,
saying that their own sins were far more grievous than his disciples'
neglect of hand washing. He highlighted one sin here, the practice of
manipulating their finances in order to avoid supporting their parents
(Matt 15:3-6). With a quotation from Isaiah 29:13, Jesus showed the
difference between talking about God and living in a godly way. The
Pharisees honoured God with their lips but their heart was far from Him
(Matt 15:7-9).
Then, he called everyone
together so that they would hear an important truth:
Matt 15:10-11
"Hear and understand. 11 "It is not what enters into the mouth that
defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles
the man."
NASU
Jesus' disciples were
shocked at his rough treatment of the Pharisees, but he dismissed their
concerns, explaining metaphorically that they were "blind guides of the
blind" (Matt 15:12-14).
Finally, Peter gained the
courage to ask Jesus to explain. Jesus seemed surprised that his
disciples hadn't understood. "Are you still lacking in understanding
also?" (Matt 15: 15-16 NASU, "Are you still so dull?" NIV). Then Jesus
explained clearly:
Matt 15:17-20
17 "Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth
passes into the stomach, and is eliminated? 18 "But the things that
proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the
man. 19 "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders,
adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. 20 "These
are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands
does not defile the man."
NASU
True defilement consists
of sins of the heart, not in forgetting to comply with ritual hand-washing
rules. Sin is not external, but internal, and this is why God changes
the heart at conversion, not merely the external habits.
Jesus listed some of the
sins that defile people. The word 'defile' here means to profane, to
make levitically unclean, to pollute. The sins include murder, theft,
lying and even the undetectable sin of 'evil thoughts.' Jesus also
specifically included adultery and fornication, the first meaning
"unlawful intercourse with the spouse of another" (NT:3430, Vine's
Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, © 1985, Thomas Nelson
Publishers), and the second
"illicit sexual intercourse," (NT:4202, Vine's). Adultery specifically
refers to sex with someone other than your spouse, and fornication is a
more general term, meaning any and all sexual activity that is not
within marriage, including pre-marital sex, homosexual sex,
extra-marital sex and anything else.
In short, Jesus plainly
declared that all extra-marital sex is a sin that defiles people.
This means that everyone in the Family who has indulged in any such
activity is defiled and needs to repent before God to find the place of
forgiveness.
The passage is repeated
in Mark chapter seven.
The Rich Young Ruler
The story
of the rich young ruler is found in Matthew 19:16-26, Mark 10 17-27 and
Luke 18:18-27.
First, the young man asked Jesus what
he should do in order to get eternal life.
Matt 19:16-17
16 And someone came to Him and said, "Teacher, what good thing shall
I do that I may obtain eternal life?" 17 And He said to him, "Why
are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good;
but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments."
NASU
Jesus began by telling him
to keep the commandments, but the young man continued asking.
Matt 19:18-19
18 Then he said to Him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "YOU SHALL NOT
COMMIT MURDER; YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY; YOU SHALL NOT STEAL;
YOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS; 19 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER;
and YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."
NASU
Jesus quoted six
commandments to him, but still the young man persisted.
Matt 19:20-22
20 The young man said to Him, "All these things I have kept; what am
I still lacking?" 21 Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete,
go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have
treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." 22 But when the young man
heard this statement, he went away grieving; for he was one who
owned much property.
NASU
Jesus then showed him that
his obedience to the commandments was only superficial; he actually
needed to follow God with his whole heart and soul and mind and body.
Sadly, the young man was unable to do this.
The disciples were
shocked, especially when Jesus emphasised the spiritual danger of
wealth.
Matt 19:23-25
23 And Jesus said to His disciples, "Truly I say to you, it is hard
for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 "Again I say to
you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle,
than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." 25 When the
disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, "Then who
can be saved?"
NASU
Finally Jesus explained
that that obedience to God was indeed possible, but only through the
power of God.
Matt 19:26 And looking
at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but
with God all things are possible." NASU
The relevance for the
Family is straightforward: the commandment against adultery is in the
same category as the commandments against murder, theft, dishonesty and
the commandments to honour one's parents and to love one's neighbour.
One may not say that adultery is no longer prohibited unless one
also says that loving one's neighbour is no longer necessary.
Clearly, this would be ludicrous. Not only is adultery prohibited, but
with God, it is possible to obey God in this area. If, as
Berg/Dad taught, it is not possible to be obedient to God in this area, this can
only mean that God is not present to help.
If a person is a true
Christian, then God is with them in the person of the Holy Spirit, and
he helps them to obey God and live a godly life.
The woman caught in
adultery
John 8:3-11
3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery,
and having set her in the center of the court, 4 they said to Him,
"Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. 5
"Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do
You say?" 6 They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might
have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His
finger wrote on the ground. 7 But when they persisted in asking Him,
He straightened up, and said to them, "He who is without sin among
you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8 Again He
stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 When they heard it, they
began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He
was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the
court. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, "Woman, where are
they? Did no one condemn you?" 11 She said, "No one, Lord." And
Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no
more."
NASU
Several points should be noted about this story: first,
the woman was caught in sexual sin; she was having sex with someone
other than her husband. Neither Jesus nor the woman disputed this fact.
Second, the point of the confrontation was not whether adultery was
wrong, but whether Jesus could be pressured into a rash action, which
would give the scribes and Pharisees an opportunity to accuse him. If he
released the woman, he could be accused of breaking the Mosaic Law,
which indeed did contain the death penalty for adultery (Lev 20:10 and
Deut 22:22-24 say that both the man and the woman should be put to
death, not the woman alone). However, if Jesus ordered her death, the
Pharisees would have been able to inform the Romans that he had broken
their law, who would then have taken him into custody.
Third, when Jesus released the woman, he did not do so by
claiming that the Law no longer applies or that it may be broken, but
rather he claimed the divine right to be merciful. Only God has the
right to judge and therefore only God can grant mercy. In fact this
story may serve to illustrate Jesus' next words, that he is the light of
the world (John 8:12). He is the light of God sent into the world as an
act of God's mercy to bring atonement for sinful people.
Fourth, his final words to the woman contain three
points: a) He did not condemn her. Jesus came to the world to save it,
not condemn it (John 3:17). There will be a time of judgement, but this
was not it. b) He released her with a word, "go," and so gave her the
opportunity to begin a new life. c) He gave her a simple instruction
that she was to apply from then on, "from now on sin no more." She was
to refrain from adultery, because it was sin.
The relevance to the Family is also simple: Adultery is
sin and Family members should stop sinning.
The Book of Revelations
As this webpage outlines Jesus' own words on the topic of
adultery, it is relevant to include two portions from the book of
Revelations in which Jesus, while dictating seven letters to churches in
Asia, mentions adultery. These passages also contain Jesus' words, and
the only difference is that Jesus spoke these words after he had died,
risen from the dead and ascended into heaven, not before.
Revelations chapters two and three contain letters written to seven
churches in Asia, dictated to John while he was a prisoner on
the island of Patmos. Chapter one describes Jesus' glorified appearance,
and repeatedly emphasises that the words that followed were Jesus'
words.
The
letter to the church in Pergamos begins in Revelations
2:12. After commending
them for not denying the faith despite persecution, Jesus chastises
them:
Rev 2:14-16
14 'But I have a few things against you, because you have there some
who hold the teaching of Balaam, who kept teaching Balak to put a
stumbling block before the sons of Israel, to eat things sacrificed
to idols and to commit acts of immorality. 15 'So you also have some
who in the same way hold the teaching of the Nicolaitans. 16
'Therefore repent; or else I am coming to you quickly, and I will
make war against them with the sword of My mouth.
NASU
One of the church's sins was that there were people in
the church who committed "acts of immorality" ("sexual immorality" NIV,
NKJV, NET. The NET also has a footnote, "engage in illicit sex, to
fornicate, to whore"). This sin was something that Jesus had against
them (vs.14), and his direct command was that they should "repent" or
face punishment (vs.16). Repent, of course, is a biblical word meaning
more than saying sorry. It means that one should stop committing sin and
one should turn one's whole life to God.
Immediately after the letter to Pergamos, Jesus dictates
the letter to Thyatira (Rev 2:18-29). Jesus commends them
for their works, love, service, faith and patience, but then severely
rebukes them:
Rev 2:20-24
20 'But I have this against you, that you tolerate the woman
Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads
My bond-servants astray so that they commit acts of immorality and
eat things sacrificed to idols. 21 'I gave her time to repent, and
she does not want to repent of her immorality. 22 'Behold, I will
throw her on a bed of sickness, and those who commit adultery with
her into great tribulation, unless they repent of her deeds. 23 'And
I will kill her children with pestilence, and all the churches will
know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts; and I will give
to each one of you according to your deeds. 24 'But I say to you,
the rest who are in Thyatira, who do not hold this teaching, who
have not known the deep things of Satan, as they call them — I place
no other burden on you.
NASU
Jesus also had something against the church in Thyatira:
they tolerated a
self-proclaimed prophetess who led believers into sin.
Two sins are mentioned, "acts of immorality" and eating "things
sacrificed to idols." As in the previous passage, the sin is "sexual
immorality" (vs. 20 NIV, NKJV, NET). Jesus demanded that the woman
repent, but she refused and so she would soon be punished. Anyone else
who indulged in sexual sin would also be punished unless they repented.
This was a grievous sin, so much so that Jesus referred to it as the
"deep things of Satan" (vs.24).
The relevance to the Family is clear: adultery is sin.
Those indulging in it are to repent.
Conclusion
Jesus repeatedly addressed the topic of adultery. At no
time did he ever condone sexual activity among his followers or among
the world. Jesus' position is that extra-marital sexual activity is a
sin to be repented of.
He explained that sexual lust and adultery were the same
sin so people should avoid situations where they might be tempted. He
said that extra-marital sex was a sin that destroyed marriages. He said
that sexual sin defiles people, just as evil thoughts and murder defile
people. He said that with God it was possible to obey God in all things,
including avoiding adultery. He said that those who have received God's
mercy should not continue in adultery. He said that adultery was a sin
that must be repented of, if people were to avoid punishment.
The Family places great emphasis in their internal
publications on words and messages from Jesus. It would be better if
they began by heeding his words, as recorded in the Bible, and obeyed
them.
Jesus said that extra-marital sexual activity is a sin to
be repented of.
See also
Definitions of
adultery and fornication
Marriage
How Serious is Lust?
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