Jesus the Bridegroom

In Family publications, it is very common to refer to Jesus as our ‘Lover’ or our ‘Bridegroom’. These are not intended as mere allegorical word pictures of the order of Jesus being the bread we should eat or the door through which we should enter the kingdom of heaven. In other words, when the Family refers to Jesus as being the Door, it is a metaphor for our salvation. Likewise, the Family (and most other Christians) do not literally picture Jesus as a heavenly loaf of bread or as a superhuman sheep farmer or as a giant rock on a construction site. (John 6:35, John 10:11, Matthew 7:24)

However Family members are supposed to believe that Jesus is literally our ‘lover’, that He wants to have sex with us, and is somehow satisfied sexually when we visualise Him whenever we make love or masturbate. Ultimately, we are supposed to believe that when we arrive in heaven, we will marry Jesus and will actually and literally consummate this marriage with sex.

Note that for the purposes of this study we will temporarily lay aside the concept of Family men visualising themselves as women, in order that we may focus on Jesus’ role in our relationship with Him.

There are a number of Scriptures that portray Jesus as the Bridegroom, though there are none that refer to Him as a lover, the difference being that a lover is someone with whom we have a sexual relationship when we are not (yet) considering marrying him or her. These passages that call Jesus the Bridegroom are surprisingly different in content and meaning.

It is not good enough to locate a biblical metaphor and make a blanket statement that “This represents one particular thing throughout the Bible”. We can quickly get into trouble that way. A classic example would be that of wine. Jesus used wine to represent His blood which was shed for many, and whenever we participate in communion we drink the wine remembering that Jesus died to forgive our sins. But is wine always a symbol of the saving blood of Jesus? Obviously not, for in the book of Revelations, there are instances where wine is used metaphorically to represent some very different truths.

Rev 14:8,10

8 And another angel followed, saying, “Babylon is fallen, is fallen, that great city, because she has made all nations drink of the wine of the wrath of her fornication.”

10 “he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb.

Therefore we must look at each passage where Jesus is referred to as a bridegroom, to find out in particular who the bride is.

In John chapter three, John the Baptist testified to his disciples about Jesus, saying

John 3:29 “He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled.

John did not think of himself as the bride, but as the friend of the Bridegroom, rejoicing when he hears Jesus’ voice. Who is the bride? We must not automatically say, “Oh, of course we are the bride” until we have thoroughly examined what the Bible says. Does John specify here who the bride is? No, so let’s move to a related passage where Jesus was talking about John the Baptist.

Matt 9:14-15

14 Then the disciples of John came to Him, saying, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?”

15 And Jesus said to them, “Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast.

Jesus refers to Himself as the Bridegroom. The bride is not mentioned at all here, but Jesus talks about friends of the bridegroom, just as John the Baptist did. Who are the friends? Jesus’ disciples. Now if we wish to follow Jesus, doesn’t that make us one of His disciples? A disciple is one who follows the teachings of his master, so if we follow Jesus’ teachings we become His disciples, and according to this parable, we may look on ourselves as the friends of the bridegroom, not the bride. This echoes what Jesus said in John 15.

John 15:14 “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

In Matthew 25 we find the parable of the ten virgins, which is the story of a wedding.

Matt 25:1 “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.

Jesus refers to Himself as the bridegroom.

Matt 25:6,13

6 “And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!’

13 “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.

The bride is not mentioned at all in the parable. The ten virgins are not brides, they are bridesmaids, flower girls. There is not the slightest suggestion that the bridegroom was marrying ten girls at once five of whom were rejected at the altar through their lack of faithfulness. The parable is, however a severe warning for Christians to remain prepared, filled with the oil of the Holy Spirit (if we may assume that the oil represents the Holy Spirit). Here, as in John 15, Matthew 9 and John 3, we are the friends of the Bridegroom, not the bride.

In Matthew 22 there is another parable about a wedding, and again the bride is not mentioned at all.

Possibly we may identify ourselves with the King’s servants, but it is more likely that we are represented by the guests who were invited to the wedding. There is again the situation where one of the guests was rejected at the last minute.

Matt 22:10-12

10 “So those servants went out into the highways and gathered together all whom they found, both bad and good. And the wedding hall was filled with guests.

11 “But when the king came in to see the guests, he saw a man there who did not have on a wedding garment.

12 “So he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless.

Note here that when the King (God) called someone ‘friend’, it did not indicate that the man was righteous or accepted.

Is there any passage where the Bible specifically says, “Jesus is the bridegroom, and His wife is…”? Well, yes, there is, but it may prove even more puzzling.

Rev 21:2, 9,10

2 Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

9 Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls filled with the seven last plagues came to me and talked with me, saying, “Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.”

10 And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God

Jesus is marrying a city? This is a city so literal that the actual dimensions, design and construction materials are listed in this chapter. Whatever the significance of this passage, it would be rather poor Bible interpretation to dismiss the passage out of hand by saying, “Well that must mean us!” This is especially so seeing that in Revelations 21 we are comforted because God lives with us, wiping our tears from our eyes, as we walk in the light of that great city, kings of the earth bringing their glory into it, and so on. In other words, we should not try to juggle too many metaphors in this chapter or it is likely we will drop them! Metaphorically speaking, of course!

The church as a bride

Now before we get too discouraged, feeling that we have been demoted from our favoured position as bride, we should look up a few verses where the symbolism is a little clearer.

Isaiah 53 is, of course, the famous chapter prophesying in great detail about the Saviour who was to come. The next chapter continues, “Sing, O barren” (verse 1) because

Isa 54:5 For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; he is called the God of the whole earth.

At last! Our Maker is our Husband! Does this change our interpretation of any of the passages mentioned above? Of course not! The above passages say what they say, and this one echoes the theme of God’s love for sinful mankind. A few chapters later, the analogy comes out again.

Isa 62:5 For as a young man marries a virgin, so shall your sons marry you; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

Here in Isaiah 62, however, we immediately return to one of the previous interpretations, as soon as we read the passage surrounding verse 5.

Isa 62:1-6

1 For Zion's sake I will not hold My peace, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest, until her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a lamp that burns.

2 The Gentiles shall see your righteousness, and all kings your glory. You shall be called by a new name, which the mouth of the LORD will name.

3 You shall also be a crown of glory in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

4 You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate; but you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married.

5 For as a young man marries a virgin, so shall your sons marry you; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

6 I have set watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they shall never hold their peace day or night. You who make mention of the LORD, do not keep silent,

Again we are talking about Jerusalem! In verse 2, there is even a hint of ‘New Jerusalem’! Verse 6 makes it clear that the passage is directed to Jerusalem itself, meaning that verse 5 could read, ‘as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall God rejoice over Jerusalem.’

In Jeremiah, we find another analogy of marriage, and again, we find extra interpretations when we read the surrounding passage.

Jer 3:8,11,14

8 “Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also.

11 Then the LORD said to me, “Backsliding Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah.

14 “Return, O backsliding children,” says the LORD; “for I am married to you. I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion.

Israel and Judah are personified as sisters, and the Lord declares His undying commitment to fulfil the promises He made to them, which were ultimately fulfilled in the coming of Jesus Christ the Messiah.

The prophet Hosea was instructed by God to marry a harlot as part of an elaborate message to the erring nations of Judah and Israel, as God showed them how they looked in His sight, and yet how He could not break His own word to them.

Hosea 2:16,19,20

16 “And it shall be, in that day,” says the LORD, “That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer call Me ‘My Master,’

19 “I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy;

20 I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the LORD.

In the book of Romans, we find marriage being used as a symbol of the death of our bondage to the Law as a means of producing righteousness, and our new life with Christ dwelling in us bringing forth fruit to God.

Rom 7:4 Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another-- to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.

Is there anything sexual in this verse? No, of course not. Can we use this verse to re-interpret Jesus’ parables? No, this passage is part of a great theme in the book of Romans detailing our salvation and new life in Christ Jesus. There are many analogies used and we cannot latch onto one analogy and take it out of context and use it to misinterpret other Bible passages.

In Ephesians 5, there is another analogy where marriage is used as representative of the relationship between Jesus and the church.

Eph 5:30-32

30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

However, as we read the chapter, we can see that it is not so much that our relationship with Jesus is like that of a marriage, but rather that our marriages should be fashioned in the same way as Jesus’ relationship with us. Jesus loved us so much that He died for us, and husbands should love their wives so much that they should be willing to die for them.

Eph 5:22-25

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

The passage from Ephesians 5:22 through to Ephesians 6:9 talks extensively about the different attitudes that Christians should have, whether they are husbands or wives, parents or children, masters or servants. It is not an exposition on our marriage to Christ.

Now we go to 2 Corinthians.

2 Cor 11:2,3

2 For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

3 But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.

There is an obvious analogy here between ‘betrothed to one husband’ and ‘the simplicity that is in Christ’ in that we are to have one Lord, without allowing ourselves to become corrupt through the love of the world. However, if we wish to interpret this verse more literally, taking it to mean that believers are literally betrothed to Jesus and will someday literally marry Him, then we must also literally interpret the words ‘chaste virgin’. In other words, if we wish to consider ourselves as Jesus’ bride, then within the context of this particular verse, we may do so, bearing in mind the warning that there must be nothing sexual going on! Chaste is chaste. Chaste does not mean, ‘sex only with the future bridegroom’. A virgin is a virgin. We can’t have it both ways! If we want to interpret this passage to mean that we are Jesus’ brides, then we must soberly heed the warning to remain ‘chaste virgins’ or we will have allowed ourselves to be deceived, as verse 3 explains.

What about the marriage supper of the Lamb? That’s in Revelations 19.

Rev 19:7-9

7 “Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.”

8 And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.

9 Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!’” And he said to me, “These are the true sayings of God.”

Does it say that the righteous saints are the wife of the Lamb? No, it says that the saints’ righteous acts are the fine linen that the wife wears. This passage then appears to fit well together with Revelations 21 where the Lamb’s wife is New Jerusalem where the righteous saints dwell, and with Matthew 22 where a guest, one who was ‘called to the marriage supper’ was rejected for being without the wedding garment, which we could easily extrapolate to be symbolic of the righteous acts with which the Lamb’s wife is clothed.

It is true that we could also interpret the Lamb’s wife to be the Christian church as a whole, although the wife is explained to be New Jerusalem only two chapters later. However, some Bible scholars interpret this passage to be symbolic of the conversion of the Jews, and others think the marriage supper of the Lamb refers to the general resurrection of the saved to stand before the judgement seat of Christ.

An example of some alternative interpretations maybe found in the following site, which explores the Hebrew roots of Christianity in some depth. This particular page focuses on the bride of Christ. http://www.hebroots.org/bridech7.html

Please note that this page is given as an example of the fact that there are a large variety of interpretations of this concept, not as the personal viewpoint of the authors of this site.

Who, or what is the bride?

From the above passages we can see that there is a great variety of meanings and interpretations that we can draw from the passages that typify Christ as a bridegroom. In a number of passages, Christians are definitely not portrayed as the bride; believers are the friends of the Bridegroom. Some Old Testament passages seem to have definite applications to the nation of Israel, and there are indirect applications at best to Christians. Marriage is used as an analogy of our salvation, or rather, as a metaphor for our devotion to one God. Conversely we are given instructions about our marital relationships through the examples of our relationship with God. And in the final chapters of the Bible, we have Jesus the Lamb taking to wife the heavenly city of New Jerusalem.

The conclusion we can draw from this is that it would be rather presumptuous to claim outright that true Christians are the literal bride of Christ that He will actually wed at the marriage supper of the Lamb. There are just too many passages where Jesus Himself pictured believers as his ‘friends’, invited as guests to the wedding feast where, apparently Jesus takes to wife the heavenly city of New Jerusalem. Now we may guess that New Jerusalem symbolises Christian believers, or we may guess that it has something to do with the conversion of the Jews or there may be some other significance.

When we get dogmatic in our belief that ‘of course we are the bride’ we step outside the plain meaning of these Bible passages. Probably the best we can do is look at the bridegroom-bride relationship as an analogy of Jesus’ love and care for us. A literal interpretation, that Jesus will actually marry each of us individually at the marriage supper of the Lamb and that He will thereafter have sex with each of us, requires that we stretch Jesus’ parables a fair bit to make them fit, or it means that we ignore them altogether.

If we do choose to interpret it literally, which, we should also point out, does not seem to be ‘false doctrine’, then we are under obligation to also interpret literally the verse which says we are to remain ‘chaste virgins’. To rephrase, saying that Christians are Jesus’ bride-to-be is a doctrine that has just as much validity (not more, not less) as other interpretations, such as, for example, the thoughts of those who are waiting for the conversion of the Jews. If we give ourselves to this doctrine (which could possibly be true) we should be careful to obey the specific instructions left us, namely, as brides to refrain from all sexual activity prior to our wedding. This eliminates all possibility of Jesus as a ‘lover’.

However we choose to interpret these passages, we should remember that all is not as clear as we would like to assume. There is no Scripture to support Jesus being our ‘lover’, nothing to suggest that He has any sexual interest in us while we are still alive, and if we are typified by the ‘Lamb’s wife’, we should remember that the heavenly city New Jerusalem is also termed the Lamb’s wife. In other words, if we can think of ourselves as Jesus’ bride, we should also think of ourselves as New Jerusalem.

A Jesus who has such a strong sexual interest in living believers as is portrayed in the Family would therefore appear to be a different Jesus from the only begotten Son of God, Jesus Christ our Saviour, as He is shown to be in the Bible. We would do well to embrace this doctrine with extreme caution.

Christ in us

The other point to remember is that Christians are to walk in the Spirit with Jesus living His life through us. He is the King of the universe, but as believers, the only way we can do any good is if He does it through us. He lives in us.

Col 1:27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Rom 8:10 And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.

If therefore we picture Jesus as outside us, as a kind of superhuman spirit guide with whom we can have sexual relations, then we no longer see Him as working in us. And without Him, that is if He is without or outside us, we can do nothing. If Christ is in us, all things are possible. If He is external, we cut ourselves off from His power. Jesus left us with instructions that we should remain in Him and that He should live in us. Jesus should be in us or we will accomplish nothing for Him.

John 15:4,5

4 “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

We are members of the body of Christ. This is Jesus in us living His life through us. This is a very different picture from that of us asking a supernatural lover to help us when we need it.

1 Cor 12:27 Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.

We should conclude with a Scriptural test of our own Christianity. Is Jesus the Christ inside us or are we looking outside to Jesus the lover?

2 Cor 13:5 Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?-- unless indeed you are disqualified.

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