Jesus the Bridegroom

Makestraightpaths.com examines the teachings of the religious group variously known as “the Family,” “The Family International,” the “Children of God,” or the “Family of Love,” and evaluates these teachings from a Christian perspective. This page is one in a series on Family beliefs regarding God.

Warning: this page contains references to Family practices that are offensive.

Jesus the Bridegroom

As a general rule, the Family has deliberately strived to be non-conventional, and often actively pursues controversy. Some of its controversial teachings appear to have been adopted in order to fashion a unique identity for the Family as an organisation, some are directly attributable to the founder's personal opinions and tastes, and some are presented as though they had direct biblical support. One such controversial doctrine that seems to have originated for all three reasons is the one that says Christians can picture Jesus as their romantic or sexual lover.

The founder of the Family (Dad/Berg) wrote about Jesus as a lover almost since the very beginning in the late 1960's. Sometimes he wrote about it in reference to God's saving love (as in "For God so loved the world..." John 3:16), but frequently he wrote about Christians maintaining a kind of romantic or sexual relationship with Jesus. On occasion, he wrote sexually graphic sexual descriptions of this relationship. After Dad/Berg's death in 1994, his successor (Maria/Zerby) continued this theme, expounding and expanding on it in numerous publications. Recent Family publications frequently identify Jesus simply as "Our Lover" or "Our Bridegroom."

Sometimes Family writings use the picture of a romantic-sexual relationship allegorically or metaphorically, in the same way that Jesus called himself the "Bread of Life" (John 6:35), the "Door for the sheep" (John 10:7) and the "Good Shepherd" (John 10:11). However, the Family also believes that Jesus literally desires a romantic-sexual relationship with His followers. So-called "prophecies" were published vividly describing Jesus' sexual desires. Some of these "prophecies" contained such specific sexual details that they appear pornographic, that is, intentionally written to stimulate the reader sexually. Apparently - according to the "prophecies" - Jesus is satisfied sexually when Christians visualise Him during times of love-making or masturbation, and in some way Jesus actually actively participates in these sexual encounters. Family members were also taught that there will be sexual elements in their eventual meeting with Jesus in heaven. Shockingly, Family men were also encouraged to visualise Jesus as their sex-partner while they were making love or masturbating. For more on the effects on men of this strange teaching, click here.

Family members are generally aware that no non-Family Christian would ever accept these teachings, but they attribute this to church Christians' lack of real love for Jesus coupled with an inability to break free of a regimented, legalistic church system. Most Family members are also aware that this teaching is, with rare exceptions, generally exclusive to the Family, and probably would not have been adopted without authorisation and encouragement from Family-produced "prophecies." In other words, Family members generally accept that this is a teaching and practice that - for the time being - is confined to the Family, and that many of the details can only be found in Family writings, not in the Bible. Nonetheless all Family members believe that the teaching is a biblical doctrine, that is, the Bible not only does not forbid it, but in fact it is a logical extension and practical application of teachings that are in the Bible.

Therefore, this page examines the Bible verses that refer to the relationship between God or Jesus and His people as a "marriage," in order to determine the feasibility of the Family's position. Does the Bible suggest that Christians may maintain or visualise a romantic-sexual relationship with Jesus? Does Jesus desire His followers sexually? Could there be there a literal meaning to the Scriptures referring to Jesus as a bridegroom?

This page discusses scriptural passages in biblical order, that is, beginning with the Old Testament, then moving to the Gospels, the Epistles, and finally the book of Revelations.

The Old Testament

There are several passages in the Old Testament that speak of the relationship between God and His people Israel as a marriage. The book of Isaiah prophesies of the coming Messiah in chapter 53, then in the next chapter says that this blessing is like that of a childless woman who bears many children, and like an abandoned wife whose husband removes her shame.

Isa 54:1-8
Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child; Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed; For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous Than the sons of the married woman," says the Lord. 2 "Enlarge the place of your tent; Stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, spare not; Lengthen your cords And strengthen your pegs. 3 "For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left. And your descendants will possess nations And will resettle the desolate cities.
4 "Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; But you will forget the shame of your youth, And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. 5 "For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. 6 "For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one's youth when she is rejected, "Says your God. 7 "For a brief moment I forsook you, But with great compassion I will gather you. 8 "In an outburst of anger I hid My face from you for a moment, But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you, "Says the Lord your Redeemer.
NASU

The relationship between the Almighty God and His people Israel is so close that it may be termed a marriage covenant. In fact, God has always seen His treaty with Israel as an inviolable covenant.

Lev 26:45 'But I will remember for them the covenant with their ancestors, whom I brought out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the nations, that I might be their God. I am the Lord.'" NASU

God mentions His covenant with Israel in the same chapter of Isaiah quoted above.

Isa 54:10 "For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, And My covenant of peace will not be shaken," Says the Lord who has compassion on you. NASU

One way that God's covenant with His people Israel is like a marriage is in its permanence. Marriage was created by God to be permanent (although the Family often disregards this principle), and God's covenant with Israel was also permanent. The Old Testament tells the sad story of Israel's many failings, and also of the times when they repented and returned to the Lord their God. The passage in Isaiah 54 reminds Israel of God's faithfulness never to abandon them.

Later in Isaiah, the metaphor of marriage is again used to promise that Israel will again shine for the glory of God.

Isa 62:1-5
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, And for Jerusalem's sake I will not keep quiet, Until her righteousness goes forth like brightness, And her salvation like a torch that is burning. 2 The nations will see your righteousness, And all kings your glory; And you will be called by a new name Which the mouth of the Lord will designate. 3 You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, And a royal diadem in the hand of your God. 4 It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken," Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate"; But you will be called, "My delight is in her," And your land, "Married"; For the Lord delights in you, And to Him your land will be married. 5 For as a young man marries a virgin, So your sons will marry you; And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So your God will rejoice over you.
NASU

The NET Bible notes that when Isa 62:5 says "your sons will marry you" the meaning is "possess."

Although the verb can mean “to marry,” its basic idea is “to possess.” Consequently, the verb stresses a relationship more than a state. All the ancient versions render this verb “to dwell in” or “to dwell with.” The point is not just that the land will be reinhabited, but that it will be in a relationship of “belonging” to the Israelites. (NET Bible footnote to Isa 62:5).

It should be noted that the marriage metaphor is not always used in the same way, to mean the same things. In Isaiah chapter 54, it brings the idea of permanence, in spite of Israel's sins. In chapter 62, it speaks of the joy of possessing the land. And in chapter 61, the prophet writes of his own unspeakable joy by comparing himself with both a bridegroom and a bride.

Isa 61:10 I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. NASU

The book of Jeremiah continues the theme of Israel's unfaithfulness to God.

Jer 3:1 God says, "If a husband divorces his wife And she goes from him And belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted? But you are a harlot with many lovers; Yet you turn to Me," declares the Lord. NASU

God is indignant that Israel calls on Him to help them when they are in trouble, after having forsaken Him with "harlotry" and idolatry.

Jer 3:6-10
6 Then the Lord said to me in the days of Josiah the king, "Have you seen what faithless Israel did? She went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and she was a harlot there. 7 "I thought, 'After she has done all these things she will return to Me'; but she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 "And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also. 9 "Because of the lightness of her harlotry, she polluted the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10 "Yet in spite of all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to Me with all her heart, but rather in deception," declares the Lord.
NASU

Yet, in spite of Israel's treachery, God had made a promise that He would not forsake them.

Jer 3:14 'Return, O faithless sons,' declares the Lord; 'For I am a master to you, And I will take you one from a city and two from a family, And I will bring you to Zion.' NASU

Where the NASB says "I am a master to you", the NIV says "I am your husband," the RSV says "I am your master, " the NKJV says "I am married to you" and the NET says "I am your true master." Obviously the word used here can have either meaning, either a husband with the idea of possession (as in Isa 62:5 above), or a master who deeply cares for his servants.

The prophet Hosea was also called by God to rebuke His covenant people Israel for their idolatry, and to express His love for them. In a grand illustration of the situation, He told Hosea to marry a prostitute.

Hos 1:2 When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, "Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and have children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the Lord." NASU

The message God gave Hosea to tell Israel was that if they returned to Him, they would find that He was eternally faithful.

Hos 2:19-20
9 "I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, In lovingkindness and in compassion, 20 And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.
NASU

In short, God likens His relationship with His people Israel to a marriage. In spite of His people's sins, God could not entirely abandon them, and eventually showed His great love to them by sending the Messiah.

There is, of course, nothing in the Old Testament passages that support Dad/Berg's theories. In fact the kind of sexual relationships he advocated would have been condemned and severely punished.

Moving to the New Testament, we find that the focus has changed from God's relationship with Israel, to the presence of the Christ.

Friends of the Bridegroom

In John chapter three, an enigmatic incident is described, following which John the Baptist refers to Jesus as the "Bridegroom."

John 3:22-30
22 After these things Jesus and His disciples came into the land of Judea, and there He was spending time with them and baptizing. 23 John also was baptizing in Aenon near Salim, because there was much water there; and people were coming and were being baptized — 24 for John had not yet been thrown into prison.
25 Therefore there arose a discussion on the part of John's disciples with a Jew about purification. 26 And they came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, He who was with you beyond the Jordan, to whom you have testified, behold, He is baptizing and all are coming to Him." 27 John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven. 28 "You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, 'I am not the Christ,' but, 'I have been sent ahead of Him.' 29 "He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. So this joy of mine has been made full. 30 "He must increase, but I must decrease.
NASU

John and his disciples had been baptising, and Jesus and his disciples were also baptising. Then, John's disciples got into a discussion (NASB, RSV) or dispute (NKJV, NET) or argument (NIV) with a Jew. The details of this discussion/ dispute are not given, except that it concerned purification. Possibly the Jew objected to the necessity for ceremonially pure Jews to be baptised. Or maybe, Jesus had made comments emphasising the need for inward cleansing as a priority over external ceremonial washing - as He did in Matthew 23:27-28.

When John's disciples eventually came to John, they did not ask him about purification but rather commented on Jesus' ministry and its apparent success. John's disciples may have been jealous of Jesus' popularity, or they may have been worried that Jesus' teachings on purification were having such an impact.

Regardless of the precise details of the circumstances, John the Baptist's reply categorically put himself in subjection to Christ. In fact, he said it in four different ways:

He pointed out that both his own and Jesus' ministries were gifts from heaven. Any 'success' they had was the result of God's work; he could not claim credit for anyone who had repented and come to God, because it was all God's doing. John's own involvement was a gift from heaven.
He reminded his disciples that he had told them that he was not the Christ, and that he had in fact already identified Jesus as the Saviour of the world (John 1:29).
Using an analogy of a wedding, he compared himself to the bridegroom's friend, who works hard to prepare the wedding feast, all the while knowing that he himself is not the most important man present.
He predicts that Jesus' ministry will continue to develop and spread, while his own will come to an end.

There are a couple of excellent studies on this passage on Bible.org here and here.

To summarise, John's reference to the bridegroom is solely to illustrate Christ's supremacy over himself. He does not take the analogy any further than that, and to read any more meaning into the text is to remove it from its context.

Specifically, this text does not say - or imply - anything at all about the relationship between Jesus and His disciples. It certainly does not say - or even hint - at a romantic-sexual liaison between Christ and His followers.

However, this is not the only time John the Baptist is called the 'friend of the Bridegroom.' A bit later on, when John was probably already in prison, Jesus used the same analogy in a discussion with John's disciples.

Matt 9:14-17
14 Then the disciples of John came to Him, asking, "Why do we and the Pharisees fast, but Your disciples do not fast?" 15 And Jesus said to them, "The attendants of the bridegroom cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? But the days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast. 16 "But no one puts a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and a worse tear results. 17 "Nor do people put new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wineskins burst, and the wine pours out and the wineskins are ruined; but they put new wine into fresh wineskins, and both are preserved."
NASU

Again, there was a discussion that had something to do with the contrast between ceremonial actions and the way Jesus was doing things. John's disciples seem genuinely puzzled by the fact that Jesus was not teaching His disciples to fast, as John had taught them, and as was common practice among the sincerely religious Pharisees.

Jesus' answer refers directly back to John the Baptist's analogy in John 3:29. He reminded John's disciples of what John had said, and then built on the picture. In John chapter three, John the Baptist used the analogy of the bridegroom and the bridegroom's friend to illustrate the supremacy of Christ over John himself. In Matthew chapter nine, Jesus re-affirmed His own importance as the central figure of current history. Jesus answered their question about fasting by reminding them that He was the Christ, and the fact that their Messiah had come was an occasion for great joy. Fasting often meant sorrow or mourning, and Jesus knew that eventually He would be executed, at which time His disciples would be very sorrowful. However, for the time being, it was right to be joyful at the arrival of the Messiah.

With a couple of further illustrations, Jesus told His listeners to expect that the coming of the Kingdom of God would institute changes from the way things had been done up to this point. The parables of the patched garment and the old wineskins are examined on Make Straight Paths here. Matthew chapter nine is studied in detail on Bible.org here.

With the analogy of the bridegroom and his friends, Jesus confirmed that He was indeed the Saviour that John the Baptist had identified. He spoke of His identity as the Messiah. He said that the coming of the Christ was a time for great joy. He also claimed the authority to teach about the Kingdom of God, even if those teachings did not conform to traditional ceremonialism.

He did not comment about the general relationship between Himself and His followers. He did not say - even by analogy - that His disciples were like the bride and He was the bridegroom. He certainly did not say that there was to be a literal marital or romantic relationship between Himself and His followers. These things are just not in the text.

The parable of the Ten Virgins

Matt 25:1-13
"Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 "Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. 3 "For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4 but the prudent took oil in flasks along with their lamps. 5 "Now while the bridegroom was delaying, they all got drowsy and began to sleep. 6 "But at midnight there was a shout, 'Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' 7 "Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 "The foolish said to the prudent, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' 9 "But the prudent answered, 'No, there will not be enough for us and you too; go instead to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.' 10 "And while they were going away to make the purchase, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut. 11 "Later the other virgins also came, saying, 'Lord, lord, open up for us.' 12 "But he answered, 'Truly I say to you, I do not know you.' 13 "Be on the alert then, for you do not know the day nor the hour.
NASU

The founder of the Family (Dad/Berg), interpreted this parable in a way that was entirely consistent with his own liberal sexual beliefs. In short, he said that the parable referred to Jesus (the bridegroom) and his wedding to multiple partners (the virgins), that is, the church. He said that the oil represented the Holy Spirit, indicating not only salvation but also 'freedom' of the Spirit. For Dad/Berg this meant sexual freedom. He said that this parable teaches - among other things - that Jesus is calling his followers to enter into romantic-sexual relations with Him, which will eventually be consummated in heaven upon Jesus' return.

Full analysis of this parable requires far more space than is appropriate for this web page. However it is worthwhile noting several points that are specifically relevant to Berg's interpretation.

First, in spite of Dad/Berg's teaching, the bride is not mentioned at all in the parable. The Greek word "virgin" simply means "either a marriageable maiden, or a young (married) woman" (NT:3933, Thayer's Greek Lexicon). A modern equivalent may be bridesmaid but certainly not bride. As the bride is not mentioned, it is impossible to make any assumptions about who she represents. In fact, it would be reasonable to suggest that Jesus told the parable to mean something entirely different from an analogy of a bridegroom and bride. If the bride had any relevance to His meaning, He would have mentioned her.

Second, it is a mistake to interpret parables by analysing the representative meaning of every element in the story. In general, parables are stories that tell a single message. Occasionally, certain elements in the parable are given meaning, such as when Jesus said that the 'seed' in the parable of the sower represented the Word of God (Mark 4:14). While one may derive many scriptural lessons by affixing labels to elements in the parables, more often than not, one is distorting the original meaning into something it is not.

Third, the general meaning of the parable of the Ten Virgins fits readily with its context as part of a discourse that includes Matthew chapter 24 and the rest of chapter 25. In Matthew 24:32-35, Jesus warns His hearers not to neglect His words regarding His return, for it certainly will occur as He said it would. Matthew 24:36-41 warns that His return will be sudden and unexpected. In Matthew 24:42-44, Jesus tells a short parable in order to caution His disciples to be always ready.

Matt 24:44 "For this reason you also must be ready; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not think He will. NASU

In Matthew 24:45-51, Jesus tells another parable with the same message: be ready.

Matt 24:46 "Blessed is that slave whom his master finds so doing when he comes. NASU

The parable of the Ten Virgins is followed by another parable that warns of impending judgement upon every person (Matt 25:14-30). Jesus gives details of this judgement in the rest of the chapter (Matt 25:31-46).

The main point of the parable of the Ten Virgins is also that His disciples must always be ready for His return, even though it might take quite a while.

Matt 25:13 "Be on the alert then, for you do not know the day nor the hour. NASU

Fourth, while one may derive beneficial meaning by interpreting the parable with each element representing something, this is not the original meaning. Therefore, such interpretations are only valid if they are spelled out elsewhere in the Scriptures. For instance, one may say that the oil represents the Holy Spirit only if the intended lesson is written elsewhere in the Bible. However, we will have a difficult time trying to find a place in the Bible that says that the Holy Spirit may be acquired ("go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves" Matt 25:9) through something that people do. Dad/Berg's interpretation, that this parable teaches a kind of communal polygamy between Christ and His followers, is therefore completely invalid, for the rest of the Bible says nothing of the kind!

There are two excellent studies on this parable at Bible.org here and here.

In short, this parable says nothing regarding Jesus' supposed status as a lover, or even bridegroom. It says nothing about Jesus' disciples being His bride. Rather, it is a warning to be ready, regardless of how long it takes for Jesus to return.

The Parable of the Marriage Feast

Matt 22:1-14
Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying, 2 "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. 3 "And he sent out his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding feast, and they were unwilling to come. 4 "Again he sent out other slaves saying, 'Tell those who have been invited, "Behold, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and my fattened livestock are all butchered and everything is ready; come to the wedding feast."' 5 "But they paid no attention and went their way, one to his own farm, another to his business, 6 and the rest seized his slaves and mistreated them and killed them. 7 "But the king was enraged, and he sent his armies and destroyed those murderers and set their city on fire. 8 "Then he said to his slaves, 'The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy. 9 'Go therefore to the main highways, and as many as you find there, invite to the wedding feast.' 10 "Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered together all they found, both evil and good; and the wedding hall was filled with dinner guests.
11 "But when the king came in to look over the dinner guests, he saw a man there who was not dressed in wedding clothes, 12 and he said to him, 'Friend, how did you come in here without wedding clothes?' And the man was speechless. 13 "Then the king said to the servants, 'Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' 14 "For many are called, but few are chosen."
NASU

When Jesus told this parable, also about a wedding, the Pharisees had been plotting against Him - a fact mentioned both immediately before the parable (Matt 21:46) and immediately after the parable (Matt 22:15). At least two-thirds of the parable deals with the people who refused to come to the wedding feast (Matt 22:1-10). The final third of the parable (Matt 22:11-14) tells the story of someone who attempted to get in to the feast without being invited. The main point of this parable therefore seems to be the eternal danger of neglecting or rejecting the salvation, as well as the impossibility of attaining salvation in any way other than through Jesus Christ Himself.

In the course of the parable, Jesus does not identify Himself with the bridegroom, the King's son, and as with the parable of the Ten Virgins, the bride is completely absent from the story. Again, the point that Jesus wants to make does not concern the relationship between the King's son and His future wife, but rather He is giving a veiled warning to the listening Pharisees.

This parable cannot be used to support the Family's doctrines on Jesus' supposed role as a lover or bridegroom of the church.

The Epistles

The book of Romans does indeed say that believers are "married" to Christ, but only in the King James Versions!

Rom 7:4 Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another-- to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God. NKJV

All other translations use words like "belong" (NIV, RSV) or "joined to" (NASB, NET).

Rom 7:4 Therefore, my brethren, you also were made to die to the Law through the body of Christ, so that you might be joined to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. NASU

In other words, not only is there nothing in the passage that might promote a romantic-sexual relationship between God and His people, the entire focus of the chapter is on the contrast between belonging to the Law, and belonging to Christ through His death. Marriage is used as an analogy: just as a widow may legally remarry, so a person who is "dead" to the Law may belong to Christ his Saviour.

Rom 7:1-4
Or do you not know, brethren (for I am speaking to those who know the law), that the law has jurisdiction over a person as long as he lives? 2 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. 3 So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man.
4 Therefore, my brethren, you also were made to die to the Law through the body of Christ, so that you might be joined to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God.
NASU

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul uses the analogy of marriage to remind them to remain pure in heart and mind to the true Gospel

2 Cor 11:1-4
I wish that you would bear with me in a little foolishness; but indeed you are bearing with me. 2 For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin. 3 But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. 4 For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully.
NASU

Paul is drawing on the Old Testament images of Israel's unfaithfulness as adultery, and warns the Corinthians not to listen to false teachers. Just as a husband expects his bride to remain pure and utterly devoted only to him, so also believers are to reverence Christ alone, refusing even to listen to false teaching. Paul uses the imagery of marriage to bring out his point, that is, that Christ alone is to be followed; He alone is worthy of love and devotion. In fact, Christians should guard their singular devotion to Christ with as much jealousy as a bridegroom would have of his bride.

Incidentally, if Family members wish to insist that Christians are literally "betrothed to one husband" (2 Cor 11:2), then they must also literally obey the admonition to remain "pure virgins" (or "chaste virgin" in the NKJV, same verse). In other words, if believers maintain an ongoing, intimate, love relationship with Jesus, then - in contrast with Family teaching - this relationship cannot have a sexual element to it. A bride who is a "pure virgin" has had no sexual relations at all, neither with other people, nor with her husband-to-be.

In Ephesians chapter 5, a connection is made between human marriage and the relationship between Jesus and the church.

Eph 5:22-33
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
NASU

Husbands and wives should imitate the way Christ loves the church:

Christians acknowledge Christ as the Lord of the church. They obey Him and allow Him to lead, both personally and collectively. Similarly, wives should allow their husbands to take the lead in their marriages.
Christ has authority over the church. Similarly, God ordained husbands to take responsibility for their marriages.
Christians submit to Christ through active obedience to Him. Similarly, wives should actively follow their husbands' lead.
Christ loves the church. Similarly, husbands should act out of love, not out of a desire for dictatorial control.
Christ loved the church by willingly giving His life for her. Similarly, husbands should do all they can physically to help, protect and provide for their wives. Once they are married, their "own" lives cease, in a way. They are from then on living for their wives and families.
Christ sanctifies the church, cleansing her from sin. Husbands should take responsibility, not only for the physical and financial welfare of their wives, but also for their spiritual well-being.
Christ died for the church, although the people He gave His life for are all, without exception, sinners who are unworthy of His great love. Similarly, it does not matter whether husbands' love is returned or appreciated; they still have the responsibility for their marriages.
Christ expects His followers to be devoted only to Himself. He will not share worship, devotion or honour with any other deity. Similarly marriages are exclusive relationships. Husbands and wives have permanently severed sexual or romantic ties with all other people. Husbands and wives may form friendships with other people, but never any relationship that contains the love, submission, responsibility, self-sacrifice or romance or sex that is present in a marriage.

This passage in Ephesians chapters five and six is examined in great detail on Make Straight Paths here.

Revelations

The book of Revelations is one of the most debated and variously interpreted books in the Bible. This section does not explain Revelations in detail but rather touches on the relevant sections, those that refer to the relationship between God and His people.

In chapter nineteen, there are great shouts of rejoicing and praise at the victory of God over evil, followed by a blessed time of His rule over people. The passage then mentions the "marriage supper of the Lamb."

Rev 19:7-9
7 "Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready." 8 It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. 9 Then he said to me, "Write, 'Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.'" And he said to me, "These are true words of God."
NASU

Here, Jesus the Lamb is pictured at His marriage, and His bride - like the five wise virgins - is ready.

There are some very good, detailed studies of this passage at Bible.org here and here. Another page, on a different site, outlines the background to the "Bride of Christ" from a Hebrew perspective.

Then, in the second last chapter of the Bible, John the Apostle is given another revelation about the "bride" of Jesus. This chapter says that Jesus' "bride" is the holy city, New Jerusalem. Actually, first it says that New Jerusalem is as a bride "adorned" (NASB, RSV, NKJV) or "beautifully dressed" (NIV) for her husband. In other words the comparison between the holy city and a bride is purely metaphorical.

Rev 21:1-4
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, 4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
NASU

On this section, Keathley comments:

“Made ready as a bride adorned for her husband” compares the city to a bride, but this does not limit the city to the church. All saints will ultimately live in this city (cf. Heb. 11:10, 16). The figure of the bride simply emphasizes the following: (a) as marriage is designed to be permanent, so this will be our permanent or eternal abode, (b) as a bride is beautifully adorned for her wedding, so this stresses the beauty of this city as it is adorned for the saints, and (c) as the bride is to be pure, it portrays the purity of the holy city.
(The Eternal State by J. Hampton Keathley III, Bible.org).

The metaphor is used again in the same chapter, although this time, the angel indicates that the holy city is the bride. However, there is no reason to suppose that the passage is any less metaphoric.

Rev 21:9-14
9 Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and spoke with me, saying, "Come here, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb." 10 And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the holy city, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, 11 having the glory of God. Her brilliance was like a very costly stone, as a stone of crystal-clear jasper. 12 It had a great and high wall, with twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels; and names were written on them, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the sons of Israel. 13 There were three gates on the east and three gates on the north and three gates on the south and three gates on the west. 14 And the wall of the city had twelve foundation stones, and on them were the twelve names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb
NASU

Remember, the book of Revelations uses the same metaphor - that of comparing a city to a woman - for the wicked city Babylon.

Rev 16:19 The great city was split into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell. Babylon the great was remembered before God, to give her the cup of the wine of His fierce wrath.
Rev 17:1-6
Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and spoke with me, saying, "Come here, I will show you the judgment of the great harlot who sits on many waters, 2 with whom the kings of the earth committed acts of immorality, and those who dwell on the earth were made drunk with the wine of her immorality." 3 And he carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness; and I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast, full of blasphemous names, having seven heads and ten horns. 4 The woman was clothed in purple and scarlet, and adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls, having in her hand a gold cup full of abominations and of the unclean things of her immorality, 5 and on her forehead a name was written, a mystery, "BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND OF THE ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH." 6 And I saw the woman drunk with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the witnesses of Jesus. When I saw her, I wondered greatly.
NASU

Keathley comments again:

“The bride, the wife of the Lamb” is a description, as verse 10 shows us, of the new Jerusalem which is again seen coming down out of heaven from God. Why is the new Jerusalem called the bride, the wife of the Lamb? In verse 2 we are told the city was “made ready as a bride adorned for her husband,” but here new Jerusalem is called the bride. There are at least two reasons for this: the first is seen, as suggested in verse 2, in the beautiful analogy of the figure of a bride. Though dealing with the church and her responsibility in witnessing Joseph Aldrich has nicely captured the picture. He says:
Ideally, a bride is the epitome of all that is right and beautiful. She is a symbol of purity, hope, purpose, trust, love, beauty, and wholeness in a world pock-marked with ugliness. The bride motif, found in both testaments, is used by God to illustrate His strategy for attracting mankind to the availability of his life changing grace.
So God calls new Jerusalem the bride, the wife of the Lamb, because as (a) the Lord is making his bride, the church, spotless and pure (Eph. 5:26-27), so he will make beautiful the new Jerusalem, (b) as marriage is permanent, so will be the new city, and (c) as a bride is beautiful and gloriously adorned, so will be the new city.
Second, though the new Jerusalem will eventually be the home of all the redeemed, it will first be the home of the church, the bride of Christ, who will also be on display during the Millennium, the marriage feast. Remember, this is the home that He is preparing for us (John 14:2-3).
(The Eternal State by J. Hampton Keathley III).

The next chapter - the final chapter of the Bible - refers back to the holy city, the "bride."

Rev 22:17 The Spirit and the bride say, "Come." And let the one who hears say, "Come." And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost. NASU

Revelations opened with the Spirit talking to the churches (Rev 2:9), and closes with the same. It also appears that God intends that the beautiful heavenly city described in chapters 21 and 22 to be an incentive to encourage people to come to Him. God does not promise that everything will go smoothly during this life, but He guarantees that a magnificent place is waiting for His people in the next life.

The "bride" of Jesus the "Lamb" is pictured here as the holy city, New Jerusalem. While there are many beautiful messages that can be gained from this metaphor, a literal romantic-sexual relationship between Jesus and His followers is not one of them. In fact, earlier on in Revelations, the church is pictured another way, as a company of sexually pure men.

Rev 14:4-5 These are the ones who have not been defiled with women, for they have kept themselves chaste. These are the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. These have been purchased from among men as first fruits to God and to the Lamb. 5 And no lie was found in their mouth; they are blameless. NASU

While the identity of the 144,000 in Revelations has been endlessly debated, it is clear that they are chosen because of their unwavering obedience to Jesus (the "Lamb"). They have been redeemed, they follow Him, they are honest in speech, they are blameless in action, and they do not engage in extra-marital sex.

Revelations, of course, is filled from beginning to end with metaphors and symbolism. Family members may then choose to interpret this passage to refer to so-called spiritual adultery. While this is quite probably one of the intended meanings, it would be wrong to say that the literal meaning does not apply. In other words, the passage probably warns against both spiritual and literal adultery. It is very poor Bible interpretation indeed for the Family to teach that because there is a spiritual meaning that may be derived from the passage, they may reject the literal meaning. In effect, they are saying, "This passage is spiritual, therefore its exhortation not to engage in extra-marital sex actually means that we may do so!"

At best, this shows complete ignorance of the Scriptures, at worst, it is deliberate manipulation of the Holy Bible in order to support a sinful practice.

Conclusion

The picture of God being so utterly devoted to His people that He has bound Himself contractually to them is a beautiful story of the grace of God. Knowing well the fickle nature of people, God chose Israel and promised that they would be His people and He their God. This special relationship has its foundation in the everlasting love of God, who, knowing that human beings were incapable of living without sin, bound Himself to one group of people - Israel - in order that He might give His words, His love, and His Son to the needy world. In spite of repeated rejection from generation to generation, forming centuries of disobedience, God kept His word to His people, who He said were committing adultery against Him.

Finally, He sent His Son Jesus Christ in a gift of love to bring not only His chosen people Israel back to Him but also the Gentiles, that all people may come to know Him. The arrival of Jesus the Christ on earth was a time of great joy, like the joy that is present at a marriage. Also like in a marriage, true believers are expected to devote themselves solely to God, to the complete exclusion of all other deities - whether spiritual, financial, material or something else. In the same way that first century Jewish brides waited for their husbands-to-be to arrive and bring them to their new houses, believers wait patiently and faithfully for the return of Jesus Christ. Christ's unfailing love for the church is the model for marital love in its self-sacrifice, respect, care, provision, protection and exclusivity.

When Jesus returns, there will again be great joy, for no longer will believers have to endure the hardships of life on earth, and no longer will they fight endless battles against sin. At that time, Jesus Christ will take complete control of the world, and all who are in it, physically and spiritually.

The story of God's relationship with is people is indeed one of a marriage. There is commitment, faithfulness, exclusivity, care and self-sacrifice. There are also many other parallels that can be drawn from the picture of God as the believers' "husband," or Jesus as the "bridegroom."

There is, of course, one element that is conspicuously absent from the biblical picture of the "marriage" between God and the church, and that is the Family's sexualisation of the concept. There is nothing in the Bible to suggest that Jesus sexually desires His followers. The very idea is so far removed from biblical truth as to be blasphemous. At the very least, it betrays total ignorance of what the Bible actually says. At worst, it entails deliberate rejection of biblical truths.

The Family's teachings regarding a romantic-sexual relationship between Jesus and His followers are unbiblical and therefore should be rejected.