The Law of love in the Epistles

This study will look at various Scriptures used to justify the sexual aspects of Jesus’ law of love as practised by the Family. The Scriptures examined on this page will be taken from the Epistles in the New Testament. The ‘law of love’ verses in the Gospels are considered in another study entitled ‘The Law of Love in the Gospels’.

The law of love as outlined by the Family is used to condone and promote sexual ‘sharing’ between unmarried singles, or between people outside of their own marriage. Of course, there are many other facets to the law of love, and the fact that this study will focus on the sexual side does not imply that the other more platonic, or non-sexual aspects do not exist. The law of love is extremely broad. However the major area of concern is the Family’s application of these verses to extra-marital sex, and it is this particular element that must be carefully studied in order to have the faith whether we are acting in accordance with God’s will.

It is not enough to say, “I have the faith for it” as faith must be based on the Bible as the Word of God. Faith that is based on writings other than the Bible, or on how we feel about something, or on what seems right, is not faith. That might be convincing ourself, or being persuaded in our mind about something. Faith is different, it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and can only be born in us as we let the Bible teach us.

As explained in the study on the law of love verses found in the Gospels, in order for the Family’s sexual practices to be justified, there must be a definite place in the Scriptures some form of extra-marital sex is not only condoned but also divinely sanctioned. Sex must specifically be mentioned for the simple reason that there are many many verses throughout the entire Bible specifically condemning any form of extra-marital sex, and a straight-forward ‘preponderance of the Scriptures’ would immediately denounce this doctrine. So let’s look at the verses to see how they can be applied.

Gal 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Rom 13:8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

1 Pet 4:8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

Gal 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

The first of these Scriptures, Galatians 5:14 is thoroughly examined in another study called ‘The Freedom of God’s Grace’.

Owe no man anything

Rom 13:8-14

8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

11 And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed.

12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.

13 Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.

14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

Verse 8: Owe no one anything except to love… We owe it to our brethren to love them. We are under obligation to love them. It’s not just a nice thing to do upon occasion, God requires it of us. Jesus loves us so we should love each other.

I Jn 3:16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

The NIV describes this love as a debt.

Rom 13:8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. (NIV)

He who loves another has fulfilled the law. Does this mean, if we love our brothers and sisters in the Lord we are no longer under obligation to obey the Ten Commandments? No, if we read verse 8 together with the very next verse we can see that Paul firmly resolved that question before it was even asked. If we love each other we will naturally obey the Ten Commandments. We won’t break them, because they set out God’s guidelines on how to treat each other. If we loved, we will have obeyed the commandments. If we didn’t love, it was probably because we stepped over their boundaries in some respect. If we disregard the limits God set out, we cannot call it ‘love’.

Note that although “You shall not commit adultery” is not the first commandment, or even the first of those quoted, it is taken out of order and quoted first in this passage. Note it well and do not confuse ‘love’ with ‘adultery’. Do not confuse ‘love’ with passion, desire, affection, or the nice warm fuzzy feeling we get when everything’s going our way. Love is love. To see an intensely practical example of how we’re supposed to love each other, read 1 Corinthians 13. To see an intensely practical example of how God loves us, read John 3:16.

By this time in the New Testament, well after the Holy Spirit was given, the early church had spread all around the Mediterranean. Remember that in the Family we were taught that the early church was the blueprint for how God wanted Christians to live and note that extra-marital sex was forbidden for them with exactly the same severity as murder, theft, lying and greed. The Bible is God’s word for us today, regardless of how much we hold to the ‘early church blueprint’ doctrine.

To spell it out, if we kill someone or steal from them, we’re not really being very loving to them, are we? It is immaterial how much we need what they have. God forbad theft and murder. Here, in the same breath we must accept that God also forbad extra-marital sex, and it does not matter whether they give consent, their spouse gives consent, our home’s leadership or a Family publication gives consent. Nowhere in the Bible is adultery defined as ‘extra-marital sex without consent’. Nor is fornication described as ‘premarital sex without permission’. Therefore if we engage in any kind of sexual relations with anyone to whom we are not married, the Bible calls it adultery or fornication and we cannot call it ‘love’.

Romans 13 verse 10 says love is the fulfilment of the law. The intent of the law is love. God wants us to love each other, not just harshly or coldly obey laws. Don’t read it as ‘love is the replacement of the law’; that’s not what it says. When we act in love (in obedience to God, of course) we are living the Ten Commandments as God intended for them to be lived.

Love is a living active principle of obedience to the whole law. The whole law is written in the heart, if the law of love be there.

(from Matthew Henry’s Commentary)

Do we still need to be aware of the Ten Commandments? Yes, of course. The Ten Commandments act as a kind of safety net, a fence at the border between right and wrong. We can choose to jump the fence if we want, but no one can say he is unaware of its existence. The law of love means that Jesus is in us, acting in His love, and we are totally yielded to the direction He’s going. However, there are times when we are unsure of which way we are to go, undecided about God’s Will, confused about the way ahead. There are also times when we feel rebellious, ‘out of the spirit’, selfish etc. The Ten Commandments remain there to speak to our conscience during these times. As long as we are in tune with God, we won’t go anywhere near the boundaries He set forth. We won’t need to worry about it. But when we get out of tune and all those previously beautiful melodies now come out like angry bagpipes, God left us a clear safety fence to warn us when we are going the wrong way.

1 Tim 1:9-11

9 knowing this: that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,

10 for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine,

11 according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God which was committed to my trust.

The Ten Commandments also serve to retain moral order in society, a voice in the conscience acting independently from the legal systems in place.

Love covers a multitude of sins

1 Pet 4:8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

Love covers sin. Does it erase sin? No, it covers sin, for our love can never be sufficient to erase sin. Not even God could do that, which is why Jesus had to die for us. Does love redefine sin? Suppose we steal someone’s car, smash it, and then get caught by the police. Suppose then that the victim is merciful and does not press charges. Are we still in trouble with the police? You bet we are. OK, so suppose the victim is really really merciful and goes to the police to tell them that he lent us the car. Are we off the hook as far as the police are concerned? Yes, We are free. As we walk free from the police lock-up, what is our conscience telling us? The fact remains that the victim’s forgiveness does not change our guilt. It was still wrong to steal that car. It doesn’t matter how many people attest to our innocence, how loudly they insist we borrowed the car, or even how much they focus on the victim’s mercy. We still did the wrong thing, but the victim had enough love to cover our sin.

Can we redefine what God has called sin by calling it ‘love’? No, we can forgive but we cannot redefine. Can we take this verse to mean that extra-marital sex is legitimate if done in love? Absolutely not!

Bear one another’s burdens

Gal 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

The law of love means we are to help each other, help them carry their load, think of what they need, instead of our own difficulties. Can this be applied sexually, i.e. what if my brother is suffering under a burden of a lack of sex?

Before we take the liberty of applying this verse to sexual matters it would be wise to consider the following points:

First, all extra-marital sexual relations are condemned as ‘works of the flesh’ by the same author to the same readership only nine verses previously.

Second, all Scripture must be interpreted in light of what God has said on the same subject in other places in the Bible. So while this particular verse does not prohibit sex, there are a great many other verses dealing specifically with sexual matters.

Third, be careful about saying that someone’s sexual desire is a ‘burden’ that we must help alleviate. We should not confuse their need for friendship, companionship, or fellowship with their desire for sex. If we have a true friend, we can put up with a lack of sex. On the other hand, we can have all the sex in the world, but it can never satisfy without true friendship. Friendship is never proven or demonstrated by sex.

Fourth, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is ‘self control’ (KJV: temperance) Gal.5:22-23. Being filled with the Holy Spirit automatically produces love, joy and peace in our life. When we have the Holy Spirit, we become patient, kind, good, faithful and meek. On top of all that we also have been given the power of self control, the ability to control our urges, be they physical, sexual, mental, emotional etc. Anybody who cannot control their own sexual desire does not have enough Holy Spirit. If they don’t have enough Holy Spirit they will also be lacking in the other fruits. They will also be unloving, grumpy, nervous and/or impatient. So why would we want to get close to that kind of person? Will having sex with them change them? No, only the Holy Spirit can do that. And with the Holy Spirit comes self control.

In conclusion, the law of love does not and cannot redefine what is sin or not sin. The law of love means that all our actions must be done with love, or we are wasting our time. However doing something ‘in love’ can never justify going against the commandments that God set down for us. He alone defines what is right and wrong, and we cannot play with words in an attempt to get around what He said.

There are no loopholes in the law of love. God said that pre- and extra-marital sex is sin, therefore it is. Nowhere in the New Testament does it imply that Jesus changed that. The law of love may not be used to condone or promote any form of extra-marital sexual relations. Clear enough?

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